In the book, The Love Dare, they introduce us to the idea of two different rooms. These are rooms where we choose to stay or rooms we choose to leave. One room is the Appreciation Room, the other is the Depreciation Room. It’s obvious which room we should spend most of our time in. When you look at your relationship, where are you spending most of your time?
In the Appreciation Room, all the positive words that would describe your spouse are written. Every good thing they have done or said is in this room. All of the hopes, dreams and wonderful plans your spouse has are in there. When you choose to stay in the Appreciation Room, your view of your spouse becomes focused on the good, not the bad. When you’re in there, you can’t focus on the things you’d like to change about that person and you’re not bombarded with past mistakes.
In the Depreciation Room, Satan uses every word, every deed that was wrong, every flaw to make you focus on what you don’t like about your spouse. This is the room where marriages are broken. This is the room where as the book states that, “divorces are plotted”. If you are taking part in this dare, you want things to be different, so you need to make sure you are spending your time in the Appreciation Room. While what is written on the walls of the Depreciation Room may be true, you must remember that your spouse is not the only one with these rooms. There is also an Appreciation Room and Depreciation Room for you.
Give thought to what would be on the walls of your room. I am willing to bet that your Depreciation Room is not as nice as you would like it to be. Your room looks vandalized with all types of words that you might never think would be there, but they describe your attitudes, words and actions towards others and yourself. When you look at the walls of your Appreciation Room, you will see the good things, the positive words and actions, the times you have given to others, the kind words when someone was hurting. This is the room you want to fill, not the Depreciation Room. So when you think of your spouse, in love, remember to be in the Appreciation Room and if you happen to step foot into the ‘other’ room, remember that Jesus died so that every attitude, word and action written on that wall would be covered. He did that for your spouse as much as He did that for you.
How much time are you spending in your spouse’s Appreciation Room?
For today’s dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.
At the end of the day, answer these questions:
1. Which list was easier to make?
2. What did this reveal about your thoughts?
3. What attribute did you thank your spouse for having?
Congratulations! You have completed Day 7! Tomorrow’s dare is Love is Not Jealous.